come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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