Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
