i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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