Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
as a side note pls kill me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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