so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he thought i was a dude.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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