Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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