If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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