What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
