don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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