I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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