he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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