Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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