ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
