Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
