the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
