he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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