Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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