A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
