just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
