So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
