One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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