Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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