I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
