I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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