I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
