Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Randomize
