Texts From Last Night

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  (213): View more from California

  I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

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  (213): I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered' http://tfl.nu/8qxk
  Replies (12) Good night (4962) Bad night (913)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.

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  (704): you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/wl2h
  Replies (12) Good night (1643) Bad night (3540)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public

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  (804): This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public http://tfl.nu/6cpw
  Replies (15) Good night (807) Bad night (3675)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.

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  (804): I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size. http://tfl.nu/11z8
  Replies (20) Good night (6170) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  you lied. pity sex is amazing.

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  (248): you lied. pity sex is amazing. http://tfl.nu/c61w
  Replies (27) Good night (6961) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (450): View more from Quebec

  I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...

  (450): View more from Quebec

  On that note, do I have a rule?

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  (450): I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc... (450): On that note, do I have a rule? http://tfl.nu/u1td
  Replies (15) Good night (4808) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.

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  (718): knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins. http://tfl.nu/4mi1
  Replies (5) Good night (1792) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.

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  (612): Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down. http://tfl.nu/yekc
  Replies (15) Good night (1532) Bad night (2301)
• Favorite

  (877): View more from

  Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik

  (877): View more from

  Lyk hr kuds 4

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  (877): Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik (877): Lyk hr kuds 4 http://tfl.nu/neej
  Replies (12) Good night (878) Bad night (1560)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"

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  (906): You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!" http://tfl.nu/38or
  Replies (10) Good night (2557) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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  (609): Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him. http://tfl.nu/6jaw
  Replies (9) Good night (2694) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.

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  (623): Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to. http://tfl.nu/084z
  Replies (6) Good night (2204) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof

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  (907): Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof http://tfl.nu/yowz
  Replies (5) Good night (1222) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.

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  (506): I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work. http://tfl.nu/gsqk
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one

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  (865): I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one http://tfl.nu/oyli
  Replies (7) Good night (349) Bad night (1044)

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