Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"