Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts

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  (908): I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts http://tfl.nu/1w8r
  Replies (28) Good night (4906) Bad night (872) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.

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  (419): It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America. http://tfl.nu/twjg
  Replies (30) Good night (2326) Bad night (1343) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.

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  (704): Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway. http://tfl.nu/y0w4
  Replies (9) Good night (3503) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.

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  (319): just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys. http://tfl.nu/rsgm
  Replies (6) Good night (4011) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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  (519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3
  Replies (21) Good night (5498) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy

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  (860): drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy http://tfl.nu/cj1r
  Replies (10) Good night (3335) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.

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  (307): Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor. http://tfl.nu/j4rc
  Replies (17) Good night (6184) Bad night (892) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

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  (330): Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea. http://tfl.nu/s5sl
  Replies (4) Good night (2293) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.

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  (724): I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out. http://tfl.nu/ua1b
  Replies (11) Good night (943) Bad night (1971)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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  (509): i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron http://tfl.nu/ihph
  Replies (14) Good night (1539) Bad night (777)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.

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  (816): Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night. (816): I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it. http://tfl.nu/9xew
  Replies (6) Good night (1563) Bad night (581)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

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  (512): I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I? http://tfl.nu/ch97
  Replies (6) Good night (1477) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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  (603): I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin. http://tfl.nu/m6dy
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted

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  (403): I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted http://tfl.nu/dgp6
  Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (395) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?

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  (662): Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!? http://tfl.nu/mo9h
  Replies (4) Good night (911) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt

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