watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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