Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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