i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
