I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
40s are totally the cure
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
