Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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