You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
