But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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