No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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