we have officially lost it.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's never too late to be topless.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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