I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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