I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
