I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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