if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
