so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
