He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
