when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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