I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
