when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
