Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He literally asked permission to hit on me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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