my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
