3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
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I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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