you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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