I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize