you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
