ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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