I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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