Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
