i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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