he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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