Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
