i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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