How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
what day is it and did you see me today?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
