Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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