You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like abortions should bother me more
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
