You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize