You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
