No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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