Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Randomize
