One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
