HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
