Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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