I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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