so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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