Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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