I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
