just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
