I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
